why..

i no hate him but at times
i will felt furious when think of him..
why dont i scold him..
why dont i blame him..
but used to choose a quiet end..
without any more words..

habit..

online but appearing offline..
it became my habit now..
i am just petrify..
sit at there..
and seeing your status..
watching your available status..
change to busy status..
away status..
off..
i know.. u gotta say i am stupid..
and i think so..

sleepy.. aww~

evening ahlaw phoned me..
almost 6 calls..
to take the karangan book..
but i was in sleep.. lol
luckily at last i heard it rang.. haha

paiseh la~ need he waiting lol
but he saw my sleepy look.. haiyo~
yet had a drink with him..
from 5 to 7.. haha!
first time took 2 hours
to drink something.. = =

at last he accompany me to go home..
raining some more..
haiyo.. ok la! gentleman~ lol
gentle gentle gentle man~ haha!

hwaiting!

yesterday i have done the revision..
the sej subject for the whole day..
it seems quite easy..
but it was quite hard.. lol
i donlike sej perhaps..

today i gotta revise phy..
sigh~ phy again..
nowadays i kept revised
either phy or bio..
phy bio phy bio~~
again and again..
really feel a little bored..
but have to do so..

ga yao la! u~ my frens~

waste~

today read nothing..
i was petrified..
just sat on sofa and
saw previous messages..
all the previous messages
that he sent me..
cried but nothing..
i was all fine.

are you..?

why everytime
when i am fragile..
i am weak..
i will miss u much..
i will wan u more..
just like yesterday night..
i really feel need you with me..
...................................
...................................
will you miss me?
really donhave?
really look me as your fren..
or you will still care about me?

you're not..

argggh.. my brain..
something problem.. lol
today keep say wrong things..
and laughed by bros..
eee i've been bully by them..
sigh~ evening headache too..
telling myself..
you're not in my brain~~
you're not in my brain~~
you're not in my brain~~!!!

available.. cant u see?

ask me out for fun?
alone with u somemore?
lol.. i donhave time to fun..

haizz..
u never chat with me at all..
even a little conversation also no..
every time online and waiting..
every time see u until turn offline..
i continue stay available..
continue waiting..
but one word also dont have..

sorry? what's tat...

yesterday night..
i make Feng unhappy..
he asked me the weird question..
is tat guy looks better than him?
i donknow what he wanna asked..
then just left it no reply him..

then he showed his unhappy..
i comfort him..
ask him to tell me the reason..
i damn tired.. he replied so slow..
and i fall asleep already..

today morning saw his msg..
i really cant get what he gotta mean..
i angry.. he said sorry, his false..

frankly i so scare someone
to say sorry to me after that matter..
i scare sorry!!.. it hurts me..
i cry.. i am thinking of u..
wanna let u know..
wanna msg u..
but i know u will just reply me coldly..

birthday~

happy birthday to ahlawlaw haha..
today celebrated his birthday
with many many frens~
all guys.. just 5 girls.. lol
at 4 season there..
and then go wangsa walk sing k..
birthday boy is the last person
go home.. alone somemore..
haha have abit boring tired
but happy day with they all~
happy birthday la ahlaw!!!

blessing~

today at tuition there..
i heard kad said
he will so miss nii after today..
coz they just left one day
to meet each other before spm..

so pity but felt they two so happiness..
coz can still with each other..
love each other..
care each other..

envy~~
haha but feel happy to them~
hoped they two will still
contact with each other and
love each other even after spm~
blessing~ muacks~

damn burger!!!

whole day stomachache..
just coz of that small burger
i have eaten yesterday night..

morning wanna go hggghgg de
but lack of time ordy.. almost 6.. cant..
to school then immediately ran to toilet..
omg! go toilet and go toilet and toilet..
i gotta going crazy ordy..
so many times donknow what to hggg..
luckily stopped before recess..

but then after recess it came again..
but this time i deserved it..
coz i ate sambal blak..
i donknow i cant eat..
bought ordy then nii say cant eat..

haiyo.. so stupid oo..
whole day at school uncomfortable..
sigh.. toenail broken too..
an unlucky day.. really..

i pray..

today i got up very early.. about 5am
not insomnia.. but just cant sleep..
looked through the window..
and inadvertently saw a lot of smoke..
smoke and fire.. near the lake there..
it was horribly terrific.. scary..
i prayed no one injured or death in that fire..
i felt scared.. at that time.. i need him..

admirer or lover?

girls generation's new song
HOOT really so nice! i like it~
so perfect their mv~ haha
they all so lengleng~ i like them!

but i've got a weird feeling..
be your admirer or lover?
which one is better? admirer i chose..
it is so good to be an idol
or an admirer of u..
coz u will never ever feel bored of them
and love them forever..

immortal..

today at tuition there..
shared some photos with nii..
but she accidentally saw his photos..
i immediately stopped her..
they all still in there..
never thinking wanna delete it all..
the thing that i showed in standby..
at there still..
before i really got deleted it..
but after that i wrote it back..
maybe i am accustom it to be there..
all things about u and me should changed..
but i didnt.. i dont wan..
though i know i shouldnt..
what to do.. en?..
crying.. it is superfluous..
every night before closing my eyes..
u appear.. it automatically tears..
try not to think of u but i just cant.
like to pretend..
just continue pretending it doesnt matter..
i should be strong..

...

still loving u..
still missing u..
i know i shouldn't..

please forgive me..i caused u hurt and pain

我该怎么办呢
你还是对我很冷
我已经尽量溶化那冷
可是好像都没效
我头很疼 很乱
我心。。很痛。。

我们平时 冷战
都只是 一两天而已
可是这次的 好多天了。。
几时才会结束呢

之前 我真的对你很冷
甚至不想去理你
我后悔。。真的不知道 会搞到酱的
弄到你 那么的伤心 痛心。。
你说 你对冷 麻木了
我看了 真的都快要。。
不要对我麻木 好吗？
我不要。。我需要你
真的需要你。。

我对你说 心里好空 没感觉。。
我不是说对你没感觉
我真的 还是那么爱你
只是 真的太冷了。。
要你尝试 把我当朋友酱
或许 会融化那冷呢。。
哎！我真的不懂要怎么办
要怎么样 才能化解。。
脑袋很乱很乱 眼睛。。也好累。。

我知道 我时常说错话
让你伤心 难过
我知道 我脾气也不好
一点小事 就会开始不爽
就算 有时没事 心情不好时
也会向你乱发脾气 乱不爽

你一直 都在包容我
什么事情 都迁就着我
我一直都知道
你对我很好
我真的 都知道。。

你只是需要我
只是要我 陪着你
酱简单的东西 我都做不好。。
我真的 很气自己！
气我这个没用的笨蛋
为什么就不对你体贴多一些
为什么我就不会 包容你多一些

我错了。。
lg 原谅我 好吗
我好想 就抱着你 那样的说
不要对我那么冷了 好吗
我不会再那样了。。

我知道lg很难受
因为 有我这个酱难搞的女友。。
让lg的心 受伤了
我真的真的错了。。
lg心里的那冷冰。。
能快些溶化吗
我。。也好难受。。
少了你的陪伴 我真的
真的不行。。
我对你 依旧没变过
一直都一样。。
lg 我爱你。

sighed..

i dont have online
for about 3 days
coz i was in bad mood..
i just keep doing homework
after came back from school or tuition
as an escape from thinking too much..

i thought i can keep away from it
but.. i cant!! so today online
but we just chat a little..
i really prefer you from start to end
chat with me.. annoy me.. bother me.. angry me..
i more like you do like that to me
really...!!
you silent i really very scare = =

2nd ponteng ^O^

i absent today ·· =o="
coz no one call me to wake up~

my mom forgot that i've school
but she suddenly remember it
then she immediately get me up

but it was already 6am
bus must be already leave···
so i aint go to school today~
and i sleep late till 10.30am ^^
heheh~~ =P

da bendan~
saw your blog jor~
tomorrow then i go to my grandpa's house
not today~ coz got tuition ma
and i'll be back on sunday~ ^O^

WOW CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!~

i care you...

today night chat with bendan
but we end up our conversation with sadness...
coz i said something sensitive to him...

you just go on and go on to say sorry to me
and said that was your false
and sorry to make me angry...

i know, is me... my false to start that topic
so i dont wanna you to say sorry to me

and you said to me not to angry
but actually i feel sad more...
coz i can felt that you're sad also

from now on
i know one thing
that's .. i really care about you.

And thanks to yoongjun
to hear my sadness and alot of rubbish things.

stupid~

yesterday chat with him
someone stupid~


cheeww~
how dare you called me bendan!
and the worse is ---
you add a 'da' in front of the bendan！(>e<)
you then called yourself 'xiao' bendan
let me be the worse··· HENG!~

i really never think that you're so smart one
but it's for sometimes only~ haha! =X

perhaps i'll get angry
if other ppl call me bendan
NO! is DA BENDAN!
you lucky! if not···
haha! ni si ding la!

---------------------------------------------
llac ot uoy rof tsuj eman siht nadneb ad

'' Ponteng Day ''

Today, ponteng···
I dont wanna ponteng indeed
but i've had to do so.

Yesterday night,
back from tuition and i got in home at 8.30pm
I took a bath
and immediately went to my aunt's house
to celebrate my cousin's birthday
his 3-year-old birthday~

But we went back early
'coz my mom knew that I was completely exhausted
Yup! I am!!
then we got back at 11pm.
After that I straight away went to tidy my bag
and tomorrow is gotongroyong day
so i need to find my tracksuit for it

But what i found out was --- my tracksuit, not yet washing!
Then i asked my brother to lend it to me
I know, that his trackbottoms
has a BIG writing there --- SMKDK = =
but i didnt mind it···
I have no choice already.

Unfortunately he answered me, " NO, mine is not been washing yet! "
*nervous*
I asked my little brother then
He got me the same answer···
" mine one still in the washer! "
*nervous+++++++++++++*

Then eventually that I didnt go to school today
which mean ponteng lo!! eeeeee mumbling···

nii, sorry o~
left you alone =o=
I've phoned you yesterday night
but i thought you sleep already~

sleepless night

I cant get to sleep last night..

I went to bed at 10pm
but i was just lying on my bed
doing nothing··· no sleep···
I dont know what was i thinking about.
blablabla~~

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
then woke up , saw the clock
OH MY GOD!!
it's already 12pm!!

So today ... exam...
I felt sleepy···
especially the bm2
i was just 'sei chang' !!
boooooooooooooooo-

strangers···

I look on you as my friend
but you're not···

You seems very very cool towards me···
I wonder,
I'm just wondering what really happened to you!!?

If i met you i'll said hi
and you'll answered me
but you said it coldly.
I can felt it··· the cold
I felt extremely cold!

The way you treated me
I did't see the friendship
has been exist between both of us

I'll ask myself···
Have we met each other before?
or have we ever be friends?
But i got the answer···
it's No! You and me, are strangers.

You're likely, just a passerby for me
A person who walk past me···

You're too hard, too difficult for me
to understand, to know you deeply.
What ever are you doing?
What ever are you thinking?
What ever are you feeling?
All of that, I dont know.

But now,
I dont wanna know about it at all···
Frankly, i no longer care about you
what i wish is you can still be my onlinebuddy.

I really worry about whether i hurt your feelings
If i've got hurt you···
sorry··· ···

by passerby

Happy 2010!!!

WOOHOO!!!
I wish everyone Happy New Year 2010
and today is the first day of year 2010
so from now on
year 2010 is stepped in
to replace year 2009 ^^

2010, a very NEW NEW year!

in this new year
I feel worry...
really worry!
'coz i've to face the SPM!
a very terrible and horrible BIG exam!
I detest of it!
I think everyone does! right? =o=

ya! you're right!
I dont like exam
I dont like homework
even my studies
every tests every exams
i just blew them off!
all my homework delayed repeatedly
delayed and delayed without any good reason
that eventually i've got an accumulation of homework
it's a lot!
I know.
but I'm never try or even have an effort wanna finish it
lol! what such a lazy girl I am! =X HAHA!

holidays nearly finish~
there's only 3 days left T^T
school will soon be rolling around again
I cant be that lazy anymore!!!
(I hope that I can do it) ^^"
lol i think i can do it
BUT!
I'm very much doubt it actually =X
HAHA! anyway I'll change for the better~

2010
I've got many wishes ^^" hehe!

One, family live in peace, safe and free from disease~
Two, everyone be happy!
Three, SPM exam gets the best result (my target:all pass)
Four, get more independent
Five, be confident!!!
.
.
.
.
many more! ^^ haha! but these are all the main~
Hope that I got my wishes~

May all my wishes come TRUE~~!!