CNY soon!!

29/1/11 sat, to sungai wang with nii~
and these are some photos tat i took on tat day =)
psps sunday i have no time to update my blog~
tat whole day i never even touch the keyboard lol!
today i am so tired too..
coz went to jusco with family..
and morning i have cleaned the house~
tired tired tired!! ha! =P
chinese new year coming soon~
the day after tomorrow is nian shan shi jo~
the day tat solou come back from ns too~
but we cant meet.. coz i need balik kampung! aww!
so so so so sad!! so i really hope sat u can have a day off!
don worry be happy ha! =P missing u!

feel happy!

later i gotta hang out to sungai wang with nii~
so i am right now pre-write my blog or else
i wouldn't have the vitality and energy to update my blog today~
coz i will totally exhausted then batbat dinner last~ sleep~ lol!
pre-write.. hehe! what a smart girl i am~ phew~ =P
i think i wouldn't buy anything.. coz cashless.. ha!
just accompany nii to choose and buy her things..
what short pants what sexy what high heels blabla..
i envy leh~ can buy so many things plus she's not using her money lol~
aaaa!!!! never mind~ can help her choose leng ye good too haha =P
we enjoy much much and have a great time today lo nii~ muackkkk!!~
but! i am sure i am the one who waiting for u again..
just to wait u come out from your house.. = =
so hard u do it on time! never ever aww~~
na hoping u can prepare more faster today~
and today is saturday~~ hohohoho!! happy happy~~ =P
every day i am waiting saturday's coming haha!
damn damn damn miss him~ i mean, beat him~ lol ha!

aww..

u have badly cough i thought..
coz u kept coughing in tat call..
i am so worry about u.. seriously worry..
the more u said you have nothing the more i worried..
anxious for u.. sighed sighed sighed! yish man!

i beg it!

yesterday night before slept i had thought of him again..
i was unable to have any resistance to against it..
and it flashed across my head just like a nasty mosquito flying around..
i hate it! damn it! damn damn damn it!!
i was tired of tat.. really so tired..

can someone kindly tell me how love really is?..
sob.. we were moving away from each other farther and farther..
i insisted tat i had forgotten him..
coz without him i can still live well..
since from beginning i was just the only one..

i can only used to blame myself of being unideal to him..
i regretted.. very regretted tat i loved him..
innocence.. i didnt know wat love really was perhaps..
i thought.. for him i didnt do the enough best..
cant even fulfill his heart with all my loves and cares..
though i had done and gave them all..
instead i've had brought him pressures and constraints..
i really so sorry tat i had brought him so much unsatisfying..
i am really really sorry.. very very sorry..
so please.. your image.. please delete and erase..
please.. i really beg it.. T^T

wishful☺

lol it has been 4days i didnt update my blog~
i know some of u were so mad keen to read my new post phew! =P
haha! coz recently i have less online so less update it~
what i gotta say here is chinese new year is coming next week!
and i havent started any of my house clean-up..
aww.. i think probably we will start it this saturday~
and finish prepared all the things before monday~
but i have put all my expectations and eagerness on this festival!! lol~
coz he's gotta back from tat jail very very soon!! YEA!!
i am so very interested to see his botak look in real! haha!!
and see whether he got gained weight or chubby chubby~ lol~
and i wanna test whether he has became smarter after one-month-life at there~
but actually no need test him i also know the answer of it~ HAHA!
though we have chat once a week but i still miss seeing him~
he that stupid face and foolish smile~ lalala pui! haha! bleh!~=P
hoping tat he is really all right and full recovered today. en! stupid ga yao!

look at u ▪ i smile

woke up at 7am today.. unexpected right? haha!
just cannot continue to sleep after woke up..
so then had my breakfast which i normally called it as noon-breakfast lol~
after tat i online.. but don't know wat to do..
coz msn don't have anyone online-ing yet there have nothing on facebook..
deng deng deng then it came naturally tat i am here and starting my blogging haha!
just now at facebook.. i was seeing his photos repeatedly.. again and again..
sometimes i even stared at his photo for long.. i smiled.. in a very natural way..
and i got to realize it tat i miss him.. especially his smile.. it's so good to me~ =)
but at the same time tat damn question came again in my mind..
the question which could crash my head into pieces..
i have thought over it again and again.. but i still cant get the answer of it!
love like love like love like!! damn it!! it kills me!! yish!!
forget it!! i don wan bother of it anymore!! just let the answer it finds itself!!

100 days..

it was like a speedy ray of light..
so fast hundred days passed..
before time it was really hard to get through..
but i survived all of those pain! i did it!!
i have tuned up my mood my soul and my heart..
yet i have changed to a stronger girl haha.. i think ya..
it has been a while i haven't seen u..
never ever meet u face to face..
maybe we really have no fate at all..
and i think there have no chance for us to have a chat..
even just a little talk in a very short time..
coz u will thoroughly refuse to do so..
so i wouldn't bother or interrupt u..
not to annoy or trying to disturb u.. never ever..
exception: u come and disturb me lol..
so u can continue your things and i busy with my stuff..
best wishes for u to attain wat u wan to achieve~
and hoping u live happily and healthy~ =)

let go..

i saw his messages this morning..
wat he wrote was mentioning to me?
i cant sure but i just have the same feeling..
anything about him i will still take notice of it..
i have been swear tat i wouldn't care him..
and wouldn't mind everything related to him anymore..
but my tears just keep rushing down my face when i saw his messages..
i bear not to give them flowing down but i cant even control myself..
i did feel pain of his messages.. it's painful..
tat was your decision chosen to leave me not to love me..
so you shouldn't wrote of that.. u shouldn't!
do u know that messages just will hurt me once again?..
u wanna made me cry huh?.. and u did it..
please.. let me go.. don't try to hurt me again..
i've got it enough.. it was miserably suffering..

undang PASS!

in the early of the morning.. i went for taking the undang exam..
but i have been told tat something like the system or pc was in repairing..
then i have forced to go back just to wait until 12pm and to come again..
sighed! got up so early yet got nothing and need to go home to wait..
aww.. then i went back and have a small sleep again haha coz tired..
normally i wake up at 11am but today i woke up at 7am just wan to take the exam..
but in the end i was asked to go back coz of some system damaged..
certainly it was normal tat i will have a down feeling and gloomy mood..

about 12pm i got there but those things were still in process.. aww..
but i was so lucky tat i met neeta at there and we have chatting~
same here~ she wan to take the undang exam too~ but it was her second time..
she failed in her first tried and got to take it again today..
we were waiting till the time showing at 3.. omg!! 3 hours we've been waiting!!
do u know how impatient to wait for so long?? haizz..
but eventually i got pass the undang~ neeta too~ thanks god blessing~ haha!
and wat i can tell is undang is just very easy to pass it! truly it is! lol~
and i'll have my another learning lesson on this saturday if have no any resistance~
YE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! CARRRRRRRRRR! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I COME-ING! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! =P

sighed!

waiting beside the phone for the whole day..
looking at the small clock in phone.. big clock at living room..
the time was past as fast as the time u chat with me..
hoping his message would pop out from my phone..
and it came in the end tat i have got nothing.. aww..
but it doesnt even matter.. i think.. sigh! SIGH!!

oh baby!! finally your message came!!
yish!! tat stupid teacher don let them get back their phone..
yish yish yish!! stupid yer!! so late baru give back..
i gotta KICK him if i was there! yer!! hate!! heng!!

i was recovered!! oh yea!!

woohoo!! i have recovered from sick!! haha!!
do u know how suffering i was in tat past few days.. phew~
thanks to medicines~ lol coz of it i was recovered and became cheery again haha! yea! yea! yea! =P
unfortunately u! medicines! get far far away from me and don come again! siuh! lol =P
but psps my lovely baba mama coz i put them in the trouble in these few days..
and brought so much inconveniences to them.. muackk! love u! =)


i was thinking of yesterday the phonecall.. lol!!!
it really make me laugh everytime i was thought of it! haha!
haiyo.. i was so stupid r.. i cant even recognise their voices..
the phone number was 019- and it make me just thought of that guy..
this is coz that guy got too many phone numbers and always make me confused..

first call.. i just simply answered him coz i donwan talk so much with him..
yet i was eating at tat time and i wont stop it coz of him..
i just casually asked him to call again after 30 minutes..

second call.. the same phone number.. so definitely tat was him..
i answered it randomly.. oh ya oh really ohohoh.. = =
one thing i felt quite weird was his voice.. it was quite different today..
but the phone line was cut in the middle of our conversation..

third call.. moshi moshi~ oh!? oh!? so familiar? wat? har?
i confused and at the same time i got to know tat it was ahlaw..
omg!! wat the!! i still asking as a confirmation was tat he.. aww..
he was also very confusing coz of me haha! i was so stupid eh.. haiyo..
but he not bad too haha~ coz he thought i knew tat was him.. lol!!

i think it will be the most STUUPIDD dialogue ever in this world.. hahaha..
but after knowing tat was him i felt relaxed~ hu~
it is better tat he was the person who call me.. my mood was all back lol~
next time better he starts his conversation with ''moshi moshi'' ba.. hehe
or else i could not know who he really is la~ lalala =P haha! so stupid!

i am so sick!!! aww!!

today i woke up at about 3am the time when everyone is still sleeping..
coz felt super uncomfortable in my stomach.. i felt wanna vomit..
then immediately got up and rushing to the toilet as fast as i can..
tat night i just keep rushing in and out of the toilet and kept on vomiting..
actually i gotta go for the undang exam today but i have forced to delay it..
whole night i was just clinging to the toilet and vomiting nonstop..
then afternoon baba brought me to the clinic and i having some medicine
which to stop me from vomiting again and eliminating my uncomfortable..
and i just ate one small bread for my lunch.. and a cup of milo..
coz i felt disgusting and didnt have the appetite to eat at all..
what i have eaten will vomit out.. here eating but there vomit..
it was so damn suffering.. it was really so hard to control myself from not to vomit..
yet i was just lying on the bed and sleeping for the whole day..
at about 5 mama brought me to the clinic again coz i was so sick..
my body was so hot.. badly fever.. omg i having bigbigbig fever!! aww..
conclusion.. i am so sick.. lol..
i think must be that stupid ahlaw always asking me not to get sick..
and then i really got sick! heng! i gonna crush u into pieces jo!! haha!
but nevermind la i think i will be recover very soon~ hehe =P
i am strong girl what haha! yea!!

yish! nightmares!

it was nearly about 8am when i got up from my bed yesterday..

an anonymous girl who was an unknown..
holding a long yet sharp needle in her hand..
kept in step with me yet she was chasing after me..
she followed very very closely to me..
and i have no idea about it so the only one thing tat i can do is to run..
my heart was racing and choking with fear..
i ran faster and she went even more quicken..
she make me frightened and my tears were flowing down my face..
i couldnt even understand why she wanna kill me..
and the worst thing is there was no one willing to help me..
i just kept running and running with my crying face..
it was the longest journey ever with no end..
i fell.. she got me.. she really got me!!
i forced to put up all my courage and struggling persistently with her..
at that time a ghost.. a terribly horrible ugly ghost was beside of us..
in a sudden it killed the girl.. who attempted to kill me..
and i know that the next person who was going to die is me..
so i trying to run but i cant.. i cant even merely move a cm..
i just keep my eyes closing with my hands.. with total fear..
BANG!! it was just a nightmares!! aww!!

though it was just a nightmares..
i still felt scared when i got up..
i cried.. they were so horrible..
it makes me really really scare..
but at last i could calm myself down..
sighed! i think the nightmares possibly came from the movie
tat i watched last time.. ghost yet killer.. lol..
it has been the second time tat i having nightmares
after he had left me oneself that night..
tat time i was crying.. not coz of the nightmares but is he..
he was not beside me it was no chance tat he can accompany me anymore..
he left me to face the scary alone.. i was oneself..
but now i have facing it with myself~ i am happy of tat~
coz i became strong~ i am a big big girl right now~ haha! =P
and i wouldnt cry again coz of u anymore.. yea!!~

haiyo.. i am wondering why i so expecting tat stupid call..
i think they will only have free when night ba..
nevermind~ i waiting waiting waiting~ u that stupid! bleh!

u know it..

i will just on my phone and looking forward to his msg
every morning though i not yet get up from my bed.. lol
coz i know tat he will sent me a morning msg maybe more than one?
so everytime i was seeing his msg in an unconscious condition haha..
a lot words of take care.. reminding our promise the homework u given me..
drink lot of water dont get sick yet try the best not to make any accidents happen..
blablabla many more.. lol when he became so wordy ha? worry so much of me..
yet he spam spam spam STUPID to me! haha i know u are! bleh~
that is really no wrong that i keep calling u stupid! haha!

tonight is really the last day tat i can keep contact with him..
we have talked a lot since sunday through the phonecall..
and today i got to know that he has wasted a lot of money on our talking..
i just thought tat he has any special calling package perhaps
in order to call me so many times.. i did think like that.. but i was wrong..
i do feel a little embarrassed tat he wasted so much money just on me..
but in opposite i thought tat if he didnt call me.. hmm..
i think it is better he got call me ba.. haha =P
coz i do feel well and happy tat he called me and chatted nonstop with me..
frankly i so very very like to talk with him just coz he can make me laugh like hell!
sometimes i even cant stop myself from laughing and just kept laughing.. haha!
he is such a stupid! stupid ever! =P stupid stupid stupid! haha!

i miss the day tat i keep make u mad..
scolding u and just blaming everything to u.. haha
the day tat we can talk a lot.. smile a lot..
and i can casually beat u very very enough! lol!
feeling so damn good! haha! bully? yea a big powerful bully girl to him haha!
gotta bully him the time he came back when chinese new year hehe! =P
u know it.. i miss u..

last day of handphone..

many people have their own things to busy in this new year..
especially people who were after spm exam..
they got works they go for taking car learning lessons..
and some people have gone to the national service..
but i have got done nothing at home.. yea bored..
fortunately i spent my day with him.. just through sms-ing..

i got the information from other friends who were in NS too from facebook..
and got to know that today is the last day they can keep their own handphone..
after today they gotta have their phone out of their hands..
and just can call back to their family and friends on only saturday..
sighed.. i will be damn boring affirmatively without his accompany..
but no way.. i have to be used to it.. expecting the day u came back..
and to be have fun to play to happy and to laugh together with u =)

though i have said for many times that u must take best care of yourself
but i still have to say it again.. take care of yourself ok?
u know la u this stupid haha coz everything must rely on your own..
i know it would be not tat easy but just do your best!
I BELIEVE IN U! and i know u can do it! =P

leaving..

the first day of new year 2011~
haha i doing nothing but just whole day on sms with ahlaw..
he gotta leave to national service at pahang for tomorrow morning..
we gonna be apart for so far.. sighed..
for about half of a year somemore.. it was a long time..
but never mind~ i have your promise! heheh~ =P
u must live up to it a! never have any resistance! never ever!
otherwise u gonna die in my hand for sure when u back! ha!
and no need worry about me.. coz i will be always in good =) hehe!
i do hope that u can come back safe and healthy.. still the same u~
who is stupid foolish dull silly and clumsy~ hahaha! lagi botak~ hoho~
always be careful when u are there.. sleep well eat well and play well~
but keep me in your heart for always lu~ haha!
in order that you wouldnt forget me this fren~ hehe =P
the one who always smarter than u.. can made u going mad haha..
and always offend u even against what u said.. lol..
but there is no way.. i know i gonna miss u for so long..
ga yao la my fren! waiting u here~ =)

BYEBYE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ !!!!

enjoying and joyful!!

today went out at 10am to pavilion and back at 9pm..
lol what an exhausted but happy day with u~
we have our love~ eat! haha! and two horror movies~
one is death bell bloody camp and another one is my ex-haunted lover~
both are horror movies but they were not horrible at all lol..
coz i never shout at all for this time~ suprising~ haha!
but the most terrifying thing is u! stupid~
who was always finding chance to tease and frighten me!
hehehehehe~ today outing i didnt use any penny haha! u paid it all~ =P
u asked me to treat u even more expensive for the next time lol certainly~
but it is in my 'expensive'~ hahaha! bleh~

the time with u today seems flies extremely fast as unusual..
in monorel station we missed many turns.. intentionally lol..
and i did feel that i was saying words in perceptual with depressed feeling..
i felt sad especially the time when we gotta be apart.. the time u gotta leave..
i was really heavy-hearted to separate with u..
coz i really like the time with u.. comfortable and feeling good always..
frankly i have cried.. just a little bit.. under control haha.. but u didnt know la..
i worry that u will be change to another person after several months..
then the feelings between us could be change as well..
but u have told me that u wouldnt.. and i believe u for sure haha!
that was what u said ha stupid! u must remember it! phew~

disappointed...

yesterday outing but we were not well today..
why we can change so fast in a very short time huh?
u angry at me but i really cant understand wat u angry of..
that is no point to angry what.. somemore u angry at me!
that is me u know??!! i donlike people just angry at me without anything!
i donhave reply your message so what?
i cant have my own things to do?
i cant have my things to busy or cant u just leave any spaces for me?
i am not fixed for u to occupy my time or even my day..
i have the right to not reply to your message！
yesterday u asked me things about him and him..
what if the guy told u that he still love u and wan u to come back to him?
how u recognized and seems being so close to him?
why u have so many topics to talk and say to other guys?
do u have so many male frens and always outing with them?
all u asked i have answered it one by one..
and today very early in the morning.. (for me)
u just kept on asking me do i forget your exist that i was message with him..
i have no reply and u just said that u felt tired..
the worst is that u said that i was changed!! i changed? what i changed? i didnt!
u kept on and on saying that i dont need u coz i have him to accompany..
yet i care him more than u.. yea i do.. so wat?
later message saying we should stop messageing with each other anymore..
wth is that!? i just felt like something hit my head and straightaway said byebye..
that is all.. without my further asking and knowing or even understanding..
i just gotta tell u that i have my own lifestyle and my own frens..
u have no right to control me.. i did feel upset of your behaviour like that..
yet i was angry.. really angry for this time!!
u said i dont care about u.. i dont! i do care about u..
just i do care other people too.. i sighed! haizzz..

sweat～

i went out with feng gorgor today..
one to one lol.. second outing with him..
and the most important thing i must say! hehe~
i went there chowkit monorel by my own!! phew~
my first time ever.. but i hoped no next time lol..
i reached there and looking for him..
message came that telling he was reached..
i trying so hard to find him and that time was.. omg!
i was sweating profusely..just coz of frightened..
am i going to the wrong station.. huh? fancies around head..
i scared scared.. really fear of it.. i was just oneself..
and there was no one with me.. T.T
that time i did hoped u are there with me.. really..
and i regretted that i refused your accompany lol..
but eventually he found me..
damn! he was just at the other side.. no fate ha!
at timesquare we shopping around eat and sing k~
boring? erm still ok la.. just maybe it will be better if that was u with me haha
coz u more stupid compared with me haha! can bully u wat~ =P lol
and luckily he accompany me to go back home~
again~ what a gentleman~ lol~
and right now i gotta take back my words~
i do not regret not having your accompany~ bleh! haha!

you were deleted!

i dreamed of him again..
it will be the last time perhaps..
though sometimes i will think of him..
though every times missing him my heart will pain each time..
but i believed that it was just temporarily
and it will be end one day..
i deeply believing it..
and here, i gonna tell him that he will be regret it!
the choice that he made to let go my hand!
i do happy that u made your decision like that!
thank you and greatly grateful!
there was no any second time or chance for me
to have a crush on u to love u again in my life!
coz second time for me will be just the same thing..
from now on u have been deleted! from me. won xue.

Ｄｏｎｇ Ｚｈｉ～

yesterday was a BIG day -- Dong Zhi~
morning we all having tang yuen~ muackkkkk!
i was one year older then.. lol~
at night my home was super busy and noisy..
here baby crying there baby beating some stuff..
waah.. it was crazily terrible.. haha!
the worse is i was shouting here and there wahahaha!! =P
coz nobody can hear me already.. bustling with noise.. lol
small house but full of people i do like that festal..
simple yet happy~☺
had a happy day and night with my family! ❤

20th of dec... happy b'day..

today got up about 7 in the morning..
went for the car learning session..
it used up about 5 hours i think..
one word i can say.. boring! = =
and in that room just got 4 chinese..
omg.. all malays.. i wondered was that
a malay's car learning session? lol..

at there i have known a new friend name pei yii.
a lenglui haha~ =P i like her smile~ so sweet..
if i am a guy i will certainly attracted by her lol..
about 4.30 i returned home.. finally.. my home!!! haha!
maybe the boring class brought tiredness..
yesterday night i have not enough sleep somemore..
haha! today gonna sleep early! phew~

today.. 20 of december.. his birthday..
yesterday night i've got sent him a birthday message..
about 10pm something..
and what i hoped was he will reply my message..
but unfortunately i dont get his reply though i waited until 12..
perhaps his phone was out of money?
i donknow but at that time i did felt angry..
do u really don wanna talk chat or msg me at all?
do u really wanna ignore me for ever?
to be friend.. that was what u said to me..
but right now i do feel i am not even a stranger for u..
i was more strange than the strangers did..
i really cant understand why u gonna treat me like that
and i think i will never ever know the answer from u..

difficult sleep

i've got swollen eyes today.. lol
i donknow when i got sleep..
but just knowing that i cried..
pillow was all wet..
my heart was strongly pain..
all through the night things.. memories
that i was being with him were all flooding back..
i just cant control myself from being not to cry..
so i just cried.. for nothing.. haha.. stupid!
moreover i asked kad not to be cry and be strong
but tat was me.. the one who cry.. lol?

it has been 2 months that i live without u in my life..
and this past 2 months i rejected two people..
the most recently refusal was yesterday night..
that night i was thought of am i still loving him?
is that i havent been able to get out of him from my heart?
or i am afraid.. afraid to be hurt again by someone else..
as i know i can be strong always.. but i feel scared..
i need someone to love me to care about me to worry about me
really wanna someone can hold me can hug me in his arms..
i just need someone like that.. but i scared..
a stupid coward i am.. extremely stupid!!
i scare at last i will still facing the same consequence
that u will leave me alone just with tat three words.. 'i am sorry'..
i was scared enough of that.. that was really really painful..

thank you.. i believe i will be able to let go the past as fast as i can..
value the present and facing the future.. =P *wink*

BBQ haha!

wine~ lol my first time to try on it too~
taste not bad~ goodgood~ haha =P
but the feeling after u have drank it..
it was hot inside.. lol~ anyhow good try haha!








































ＳＰＭ　ＯＶＥＲ！！！ ohohoh~~~~~
yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

the cake is for spm over lol~ coffee flavour ahha~

hahaha! my first time to try on how the bbq actually is.. it is smoky and hot~ but i have fun yesterday night hehe~

almost 11pm.. back home with happy mood yet tired body.. hehe! again.. 12 then sleep..
recently not yet 12 also wont go to bed oioi..
so scare leh pimplessss~~ << enermy ever lol =P

a FUNFUN day!! haha!

yea~ mummum~~ hehe snowflake! ^^

friends~~~~~~

and friends~~~~~~~~


bear omg!!!! so many!! ahha!!

pavilion~ ringring bell~ haha
all christmas trees~ so beautiful ha~








redbox~ i like the christmas socks more haha!